It's Over

As of Monday 2/10/2014, I am officially 100% cancer free!  My blood is clean.  My bones are clean.  My organs are clean.  I'm clean.  Psssst!  Was that the sound of a beer can opening?  Pop!!  Was that the sound of a bottle of campaign?

Now it doesn't mean the struggle's over.  Not by a long shot.  I'm still horribly weak.  Walking with a cane to the corner is a monumental feat.  My hands are truly worthless.  I can't even open a bottle of water.  Becky bought me some peanuts in a shell to work on my dexterity.  I can crack maybe three, using both hands before I give out.  Tying shoes or buttoning a shirt is beyond my comprehension.

BUT IT'S OVER!!!  NO MORE POISON!!!  NO MORE NIGHT SWEATS OR TREMORS RUNNING THROUGH MY BODY!!!  IT'S OVER!!!

Becky and I were talking about how I can repay all those people that prayed until their knees bled, that thought of me every day of the last 6 months.  How do I show my gratitude to those that hurt and cared for me?  How do I touch people that have touched me so deeply with their silent love?

The answer --  go to work!  Don't just hobble to the corner - hobble around the block!  Don't just crack 3 peanuts - crack a dozen.  Don't walk to and from the basement just once a day - do it 3 times a day!!  Work harder than I ever worked in my life.  This is the way I'll show you all how much this gift means to me.

You all have given me a second chance!  How many of us wished we had that!?!  I'm going to make the best of it to prove that your love was not misplaced.  My golf swing is not only coming back - but it'll be better than before.  (I plan to take Tim Raque down on the golf course this year!!)  I know this will all take awhile but it will happen.  One thing I do know -- IT'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Molly, Jimmie, Aunt Emma and Uncle Irving, Mary, Jim Adams, Tommy - these people, beyond Becky, Luke and Emily, are the rocks that I leaned on when I couldn't stand by myself.  (Not the least of which were Adam and Wayne as my spiritual advisers.  These two saw more of my tears than anybody else did!)  But there were so many more than I can't begin to name.  The entire Eastern faculty and student body for their pep rallies and chants.  Craig (I saved every e-mail you sent me!) and Clint. The list is endless and  my brain is quite finite.  To everyone know that I love you and thank you for everything you did for me and my family.  I am indeed humbled!

Stay cool,
Chemo - no no - just    Bob

Happy New Year

01/09/14   Good day to all:
                       I loved that -"The Polar Vortex descended upon us"  it sounds so science fiction.  Like the end is near or something.  Good time to be sick!

I've been home since the 23rd of Dec.  Gathering strength.   Last week was my worst of them all.The nurse said I reached my "nadir" last week.  That is my absolute lowest of the lowest point!  I truthfully could not walk from the den to  the kitchen without help!  I couldn't tie my shoes or even zip up my zipper.  My blood count was down to like a 5 and my blood pressure us at 84.    For those that don't know, your blood count is 15 and your blood pressure is about 123.  It took three trips to the infusion center to get blood blood and more blood, not to mention platelets (what ever they are -but they stopped my three day old bloody nose) (I'm telling you guys I was a hot mess!)

Since the infusions my counts have held steady,  blood at 10,  still low, but manageable.  If it's true and I've reached my nadir then things are only looking up from here.  I've begun to push my walking.  I've even begun, again, the daily crossword puzzles.  I'm in a hurry to stop feeling like shit! Soon I'll be strong enough to drive!!  My fingers still are not working.   Becky called it neuropathy, or something like that.  She says it'll eventually go away.  But please ignore the typos.

Christmas came and went.  We didn't have a family Christmas this year, that's unusual.  But I guess as we grow older, growing families and friends get in the way.  Besides that, Chemo doesn't lend itself to a lot of gaiety.  Becky and I put our arms around each other and remembered when we pledged ourselves to one another, through richer or poorer, through sickness and in health, some 38 years ago.  We've tested them both and found we had more fun in the richer and health portions of the equations!  But the rich always feels richer when you've been poor, and the health always seems healthier when you've been sick.  And we hold each other hard and close through the bad times in order to laugh, hard and loud, together, through the good ones.

I'll have a PET Scan at the end of the month.  This will tell us where we are in the treatments.  Have we killed them all (cancer cells) or have some escaped?  So today I work on getting stronger and await the Scan.  Once the results are back you all will know immediately.  The Cats are playing good and the Cards are rebuilding - both programs.  Really Bobby Petrino???????????  I know, he'll pledge is love and fidelity to you - until the next $50 comes along.  "I love you long long time!"

I'll let you all go.  Stay cool!  Happy New Year.  Chemo Bob.

Hunkered down at home

Cheers all!

The days are now being marked by how many naps I get.  Physically I'm in great shape - I simply have no energy.  Docs say it'll come with time.  In the meantime I treasure my happy nappy!

Rarely am I at a lost for words (as a teacher I've always got something to say!)  but the events of last Thanksgiving stunned me into utter silence and then a torrent of tears.  Over at Luke's house, for Thanksgiving Dinner, led by Mike Raque, Becky's brother, in a fit of love bordering on insanity, the male population in attendance decided to make a trek into the garage, and with hairdresser Katie in tow, all shaved their heads in support of Chemo Bob!  Mike Raque, George Anderson, Sam Anderson, Dillon Rodriquez, Luke Haire, Tim Raque, William Pregliasco, Don Stearns.  I haven't been so touched since my children were born.  I'm still speechless.  I'm awed at the display of support and love - yet I'm befuddled at the insanity!  I don't know whether to say "Thank you, I love you." or "What did you do you crazy bastards!"  I guess I'll just combine the two.  "I love you crazy bastards!!"  Let's just make this a one time thing. No tradition here!

And keeping up with the spirit  of giving, I woke up one morning and walked into the kitchen, when I noticed an unusual sight on my back porch!  It seems that a certain Italian Irish elf named Tom Keenan just couldn't stand that I'd go through Christmas without a real tree. (Docs put a kabash on a real tree indoors this year.)
So he and his beautiful wife Tammy went out one night, bought a tree, bought a tree stand, bought multiple strands of lights, bought a UK Santa's hat topper, snuck onto my back porch while I was sleeping and set the whole thing up, lights and all!!!   Imagine my surprise the next morning.  And another torrent of tears followed.

Just rereading what I just wrote created another torrent of tears.  Blame it on the Chemo.

I go back in next Wednesday for treatment number 4 of 6. (I should be home for Christmas, if nothing unusual comes up.)  That means I'm over 1\2 way done!  I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet but I know it's there and I know I'm getting closer.

I can't say enough about the people that surround me.  And how much I love them.  You all know.  And I truly am speechless.  Let's let the silence speak volumes.  Merry Christmas to all.  We'll talk soon.  Chemo Bob.

It's Thursday - still in prison

      My original release date was last Monday.  It's now looking like next Tuesday.  Nothing ruins your chi like  being told that your parole has been denied.  I'll pound something out here - but it probably won't be much.

I've kind of bounced from infection to infection.  These infections have caused my delay in leaving. The last infection is the most insidious.  It seems that all the little poop cells in the bowels of my body all got together and decided to create a huge water slide.  They  propped open every door, every valve, every opening in my intestines from my stomach all the way to the final exits to the outside.  They would then take a running start in my belly and throw themselves into the luge-like side, through the twist and turns, all the way until it spit them out into the out side world.  They probably charged $4-$5 that they used to go to their Annual Poop Convention.  (They used to hold it with the Mucus Guys, but that was before they made it big in Hollywood.)

Anyway you can imagine my surprise when my orifices began to erupt, unannounced, with all sorts of vile and detestable materials.  It caused quit a stir here in the hospital.  My ego will never be the same. (No, Jimmie, there weren't any 18 year old Candy Strippers to clean me up.)  It's called C Diff, for those of you that are medically inclined.  And the pain of the contractions was horrific.  I have great respect for you ladies now!   So they immediately put me on a ton of antibodies, including a constant drip of Morphine, which I'm on now.  Believe it's tough to search your person list of vocabulary words when your on morphine.

But they've seemed to have gotten that under control, they've hired 3 new people for the 3 that quit when they absolutely refused to enter my room upon open the door and smelling the stench. They swore that only an exorcism could clean up the mess.

Everybody's waiting to see if the system has settled down.  It's been a pretty hectic 6 days.  Ups and downs!!  This week has been the downs!!  More than I thought I could handle. This week was one of tears and hugs from my best friend, Becky.  I need to go home for a couple of days to find my inner peace again!    I"ll write again when I've got the strength.  Hopefully from home!      Chemo Bob.

11/24/13

Emily says I have to blog even if I have nothing to say.  Just because she has nothing to say when she speaks doesn’t mean I have to follow suit. 

This is my 4^th stay in Norton’s Commons – no wait – it’s Norton’s Hospital, since this sojourn began months ago.  I’ve kind of gotten used to walking around in a gown that’s open in the back.  It feels liberating.  I just wish that creepy guy down in 610 would stop following me around. 

This term is supposed to be a mirror image of my first stay, which, if you remember, was really bad.  But through the miracles of modern medicine this has turned out to be quite the opposite.  So far I’ve had no reaction to the constant flow of drugs.  Some weakness.  5 days of constant hiccups.  (IF you’ve never experienced that – you don’t want to.  They are painful!)   But other than that – nothing.  Now the heavy shit comes later in the week.  The 24 hour KILLZ ALL is sometime this week.    I’ll just pretend it’s turkey and dressing and sweet potatoes and cranberry salad and green bean casserole and pecan pie and Uncle Don’s dumplings, and  mashed potatoes and gravy and --- well you get the message!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m beginning to dig the glossy dome look.  Makes me look like Mr. Clean!!

For those of  you that care, my weight is hanging in there.  I’m running at about 190-195. Hey at least I weigh more than this IV pole I’ve got to drag around with me everywhere I go.  I’ve named her, by the way.  She’s Lemonade Lucy!  I’m thinking about opening up my own Lemonade Stand down on the corner of the nurse’s station.  But I seriously doubt if anybody would want to spend a dime for a cup of this poison. 

I know the temperature is going down but the sports are heating up.  This is a great time to be bed ridden – if there is such a time.   With the Cats and the Cards life is exciting.  And 24-7 Sports Center.  Im becoming an expert.  De de de-de de de.

 

I’ve been on thorazine for the hiccup problem.  For all of you out there that like your blood pressure to hover around 10 get on it.  You’ll be doing the thorazine shuffle before you know it.  If you don’t know what that is watch One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, or ask someone from my generation. It’s groovy, Daddyo!

I’ve about run out of words, but I have to address the holiday this week.

As you all sit down this week with those you love and those that love you and tip back that glass  - remember those that don’t have what we have.  Remember those that are sitting alone.  Remember how blessed we are!  Someone sitting at one of those Thanksgiving tables that I’m talking to right now should get teary eyed thinking about how much we have.  Everybody take a second and look around you.  Why are we so blessed?  We have to give something back.  Most of us have been given far more than we deserve!  We must make a solemn promise to ourselves to do something to return the blessings that have been bestowed upon us.  Little – big – doesn’t matter.  Give something of ourselves to someone that doesn’t have what we have.

Nothing has made me appreciate what I have like this latest setback.  I am a wealthy man.  As a matter of fact we are all wealthy people.  Let’s share the wealth.

 

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.  With great love, Chemo Bob

Just couldn't stay away

Good morning all.  I trust this blog finds everybody hale and hearty.

 The chemo gods (they don't even rate a capital g) played a cruel trick on me and gave me a fever - that wouldn't go away.  It just kept coming and coming and coming.  Believe me folks with no armies in the fort (that's chemo-speak for no white blood cells) the enemy (infection) can rape, pillage and plunder to its heart content!  I found myself being raped and pillaged.  The pillaging wasn't so bad but I'll pass on the rape portion of the equation.  Yep the Vandals swept in from the north and had their way with me..

I was the proverbial fly on the wall as I lay there on the ER gurney and watched my beautiful wife dictate, direct and for all intense and purposes dominate the scared ER docs and nurses.  It was poetry in motion.  I've never loved her so deeply or so intehhat night.  She was firm but sincere.  Her expectation of ER performance was set higher then these people had ever even dreamed!  And she would have nothing less then top notch  care.  She was marvelous!!!

But the end result was I am stuck in this jail cell for another 3 days.  Waiting for the cultures to come back.  I think they take my blood, put it a petri dish and watch what grows.  I don't know, I guess they put it on a hot steamy radiator or something.  This is how they found a cure for polio.  Anyway, cultures are due back on Wednesday. We'll see what alien life form is growing in this temple I call my body!

Anyway I'm hoping for a Wed release so I can salvage some of my vacation time.  I start the BIG chemo treatments again next Monday.   I was hoping to ride the golf course with Luke on one of these pretty days.  While I'm on the topic of Luke.  What are he and Metcalf brewing up in Luke's kitchen??  The neighbors are beginning to wonder what kind of people moved into their neighborhood.  "Breaking Bad" right here in Louisville??????  Thanks Luke for stepping up to the plate with Thanksgiving.  Luke and Katie have taken on the task of feeding the Raque family on Thanksgiving.  I'll be here and Luke will join me in hell.  (Just kidding to all the Raques that are reading this.)  (It's the truth to all the non-Raques that are reading.)  Luke has grown into quite a young man!  A father couldn't be more proud!

For all you dense people that couldn't figure out my state::Storrington Court quiz from my last blog (and this goes for members of my family that pride themselves on being sharp and witty) do some research!!!  You all have a computer or you wouldn't be reading these words.

Go Cayuts!!!  Dare I even dream of a prefect season!!??!!

I'm done for now.  Keep fighting the good fight.  We'll talk again, Chemo-sabe.  Chemo Bob

11/5/2013

I’m back on “home recoup” time.  This is good time because I get to move around and I’m in friendly environs.  But it always starts pretty bad.  I still feel the residual of the chemo and my stomach is upside down constantly and I feel like I’ve been beat with a 20 oz. Louisville Slugger.  In about 4 or 5 days the chemo will be out of my system and I’ll be able to function like a quasi-normal human being.

I get to stay home until the 18^th.  Then I’m back in for about 4 weeks.  It is a rerun of the first series of drugs.  All I’m doing right now is lowering my head and plowing through.  I’m tired of feeling this way – and I know this is only the beginning.  Thank God for Emily who sees it as her mission to work on my sense of humor, although she did humiliate me last week walking through the halls of the hospital.  I’ll never be able to show my bald head in public again. But that’s ok. I laughed.  That felt good.  I wonder what she has in store for me on Thanksgiving?

Quiz;  What do Alaska, Delaware, Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, DC, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Washington and 8707 Storrington Court, Louisville, KY 40222, all have in common??????????????

I buried my nose in the Halloween candy basket.  Thanks Guetz!!!  I’ve always said you are an extra-ordinary young lady!

A special thanks to Philip and the beautiful people of Daviess County, KY.  After a particularly bad day I was right with you all on Saturday afternoon around 5.  I believe in the power of the unison voice!

I just finished trying to catch up on my e-mail.  Teachers sure love to talk!  I didn’t break the news to them that it’s not them I miss, it’s the kids.  I never realized how much I get from the students.  They give more then they get.

I’m tired.  It’s time I put it away.  I know its short today, but I’m getting chemo brain!  To illustrate how bad chemo brain is (believe me, it’s real), the other night Becky beat me at Jeopardy!!  And it wasn’t high school Jeopardy!  I’m a total wreck sometimes!  You guys stay cool. 

Signing off, your local chemo-sabe.  Chemo Bob.  High Ho Silver!